Young mum-of-two Stephanie on some of the highs and lows she went through when she had her son Joshua — and then when she found out she was pregnant with her daughter Olivia!
Being a mum of two has changed my life even more than I thought it was going to. I’m not talking in a negative way — it’s given me more love than I thought I could even give out, and all that talk about loving one more than the other is a complete myth!!
My kids are different and the same in two different ways.
I see myself in both, I see my partner in both, but at the same time I see their own personality shine through.
I adore the hardships that come with being a mum of two. When I had Joshua I didn’t think I was going to have another child any time soon but at the same time I wasn’t using contraception ?.
The love I had for him (and still have) is a love I can’t describe…then finding out I was pregnant again was a BIG shock for me. All these questions popped in my head — how will I cope? Who will help me? Where will I live? How is Joshua going to be having a sibling?
I sat down and spoke with my partner and he clarified my fuzzy world. My whole family supported me through my pregnancy and helped me ease in to being a mum of two. Even my grandmother at the tender age of 84 came and helped at night to help settle Joshua for bed while I dealt with Olivia.
I’m truly lucky to have a family network like mine.
I am very aware not everyone has this family network and I’m grateful but even with the family support I had, I was still looking for help in other places, i.e..my family nurse, children centres.
I had to start Joshua’s routine from when I was about 6 months pregnant. It was hard but it was definitely needed. I strongly believe being organised keeps me going — I’ve structured them to nap at the same time so I can get things done and feel at peace knowing things are in order.
I expected everything to go perfect when I came home with Olivia bu it wasn’t.
I’m not saying it was a disaster, it just wasn’t what i thought it was going to be. Josh didn’t take to Olivia straight away, he became distant almost as though he thought I didn’t have the time for him with this new baby about, but I dealt with that by having him help me with changing her nappy, getting her clothes sorted and all that stuff.
Sure enough, he understood that she is part of this family as much as he is. I would spend an hour a day with just him, playing with him like I used to before baby came along to show him I hadn’t forgotten him, and that Mummy is still here and always will be.
And sure enough these two kids are double teaming me now ?.
I believe what you put in you get out — if you take the time to settle in your newborn with your first, only good can come from that. The moment you start showing favoritism, that’s when it goes downhill.
I’m not saying for a moment it was a breeze in the wind, but I told everyone around me my plans and they helped me with the end goal.
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