5 things I want to achieve in my 20s (and how I motivate myself)

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Young mum Hayley with her family

Having a baby at the age of 15 was certainly a challenge – I do wonder at times how on earth I managed. Yet here I am today, aged 23 and my son aged 8, living a wonderful life.

In my eyes, we have both achieved great things together.

I remember the comments when I fell pregnant: “You’ll never do anything with your life if you keep the baby”; “That baby will ruin your life”; “You’re too clever to be a young mum”; “You won’t last five minutes”, and the list goes on. Sound familiar? I’m sure many can relate!

These nasty and unnecessary comments encouraged me to prove that I could be an influential and successful woman, as well as a star quality mother who my son can be proud of.

Young mum Hayley with her son

Me and Byron when he was a baby

I’d like to say that I am already both of these, though there are still many things on my to-do list (I’m rather ambitious, I must admit).

I married when I was 19 and bought my first home when I was 22, so I consider myself lucky in regards to love life and home owning. Here are some of the other dreams I aim to achieve in the next 7 years…

1. Gain a professional doctorate in educational psychology

As a passionate psychology student and an individual who wants nothing more than to support young people through difficulties, becoming an Educational Psychologist is my biggest dream.

Young mum Hayley with her son

I am currently studying towards a BSc (Honours) Psychology degree with the Open University while working in a primary school; sometimes I cry at my computer screen as the pressure takes over my body.

My son, who is my second biggest fan after my husband, is so supportive and he motivates me to keep going, for he is watching my every move and to inspire him makes life worth living!

2. Learn to speak French and Mandarin

Rather ambitious I suppose, although this has been another dream of mine for around 5 years.

Why? Simply because languages are beautiful and open so many doors.

Young mum Hayley with her son

This dream is currently on hold while I study my degree, although I hope to resume this passion in the near future. Souhaite moi bonne chance!

3. Get healthy

I’ve always suffered with weight issues and constant health problems (due to being overweight!), I dream of the day that I can feel my age again.

My journey to being healthy began last October and I am confident that I am going in the right direction.

Young mum Hayley with her son

Rather than envying other people for their appearances and fitness levels, I aim to inspire others to also make lifestyle changes.

Again, being a good role model for my son motivates me – I don’t ever want him following my footsteps when it comes to food choices!

4. Publish a series of books

Apart from psychology, writing is my biggest passion. So, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to hear that I am writing a series of books based on true events that I hope will inspire young people worldwide (or at least prevent them from making some of the bad choices I did).

Written in third person in novel format, I dream to see my work in bookstores across the globe.

Young mum Hayley with her son

Perhaps the most ambitious point on my to-do list, I know. That doesn’t mean I can’t make it, right?

5.  Erm…have another baby (maybe!)

Truth be told, I am absolutely scared witless at the thought of having another baby. Another bit of truth… I would feel honored to produce another little person with my husband and have the opportunity to become a mother all over again.

Young mum Hayley with her family

I would feel honored to produce another little person with my husband

I mean, kids are my passion and Byron would loooove a baby brother or sister, so why not?

Aaargh, but what about all of my other dreams? Having a baby would make everything more difficult, wouldn’t it?

Then again, if I managed when I was 15, I am sure I can manage now. Maybe I’ll leave this one until I am 29 years old and 364 days!

Not surprisingly, I have dreams – lots of them (this list doesn’t do them justice). All of us have dreams and all of us must fight for them.

Young mum Hayley with her son

Young parent or not, having children doesn’t stop us from following our dreams or from becoming the people we want to be; my son, Byron, has inspired me to keep taking small steps in the right direction and I know that, with a lot of effort, I will get there.

I have a Growth Mindset (look this up – it’s fascinating!) and I enjoy being in the pit. By the time I turn 30, I will see you all on the other side with a new pit to dive into.

Read more about Hayley and her journey as a young parent at her blog: Hayley Lugassy: A Place to Be Me.

More stories and advice from young mums like Hayley

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