It’s crazy how such a tiny little human can make such a huge difference to your relationship with your partner.
You not only have to adjust to being a new parent to this little being but also having to adjust to being a new type of partner to your other half.
You change as a person completely so in turn it’s natural that your relationship will also change.
I was talking to my partner about this subject and it was quite eye-opening to look back on.
We both inadvertently began to list all the so called ‘negative’ changes that occur, such as date nights becoming a distant thing of the past.
We stopped half way and laughed and said well what about all the good changes too?
We both instantly just said the main thing you just feel so much closer. You’re a team.
You have just jointly brought this precious baba into the world and have so far successfully kept it happy, fed and loved (and you only have approximately 18 years to go!) and that is a pretty bonding experience to say the least.
You’ve seen your other half covered in baby sick at 4am on the verge of a breakdown, he’s seen things he would probably rather forget during childbirth.
It also surfaces in a more romantic way too, as you’re always so busy with these parenting things, you tend to notice the small romantic things when they happen more too.
A nice massage after a long day of mumming or a romantic meal cooked for you, or my personal favourite, them getting up with the baby in the morning so you can get a lie in. They may not have seemed like big things in the past but now they are the best presents ever
You get to see a whole new side to them; you see them as parents and the amount of pride and love you feel when you see your partner playing with your baby and making them giggle uncontrollably can be priceless.
I know seeing my partner as a dad and in turn him seeing me as a mother has created a whole new sense of respect and love that has only improved our relationship.
Don’t get me wrong it’s not all sunshine and roses all the time. Sometimes it’s really hard and really unromantic (the baby sick, remember) and you often feel really tired or end up bickering over silly things (like who’s the most tired).
Alone time is a distant memory, especially in them early months, and romantic nights out are far and few between.
Sometimes you do miss them days where you could lay in bed together on a Sunday morning without a baby leg in your face, or nip to the cinema at a moment’s notice on a Friday night, it’s only natural.
Then you snap back into reality and realise them things aren’t a patch on picnics in the park, or days out to the zoo with your mini-me coming along.
It’s not like you’ll never get them date nights again, they are just rarer but of course that makes them much more special when they do happen (and it’s important to make sure they do occasionally).
It’s important that you both feel like little kids yourself when you’re out without the baby, getting excited over the small things like you don’t need to lug around a huge changing bag or spend your own meal out feeding your baby your breadsticks to keep them quiet.
Sacrifices to your relationship have to be made, it could be spending less money on your partner’s birthday because your baby has suddenly grown into the next clothing size (although it only feels like five mins ago they grew into the last set) or not seeing each other half as much as you would like due to juggling both working and childcare.
Whatever it is, if you embrace all the crazy changes and enjoy every moment, everything together feels so much more special now you are both bringing up this little person together, because after all, you’re both in the same boat and its pretty great having someone to steer that ship with you.