As well as being an amazing mum to 2-year-old J’chaie Blu, Jayde runs a support group for young mums and devotes her time to inspiring others. We’re very lucky to have her as our Young Parent Ambassador and she’s even appeared on Radio 5 Live!
In her new vlog above, Jayde gives her advice if you’re feeling lonely or isolated as a young mum. Here’s what Jayde says in the video if you can’t watch it:
If a young mum was to come to me and say, “Jayde, I feel isolated,” I would say you don’t feel isolated. I would just say to her, you can no longer relate to the people that you’re around.
Isolation is all with the mind.
When I think of isolation, I think of you’re feeling lonely, or you don’t have any friends. When I hear isolation I just feel like you feel unhappy.
With me, when I had my child — I had my son when I was 15 — and for me, having a child at the age [of] 15 and you’re in secondary school – everybody’s doing their GCSEs and after their GCSEs it’s the summer holidays so everybody’s going out, everybody’s just having fun.
And me, I’m at home breastfeeding and thinking about buying 6-9 month clothes because my child’s getting big now.
And even now, I’ve turned 18 and you know when you turn 18 you can finally go clubbing… you can do the things that you’ve always wanted to do when you wasn’t 18.
And now my son is 2 and I’m trying to think about what primary school he’s gonna go to, or what job am I gonna get, or what career… I’m thinking deeply about my life because as he’s getting older.
Decisions are now becoming more crucial and more important because it’s about the wellbeing of my child now.
The way I’ve stopped myself from feeling isolated is just remembering that where I wanna go is so much more… there’s so much more to life than just now.
I go to a church called SPAC Nation and one of the reverends at the church said to me and the other people that was in the room at the time that, “Your imagination is the creation of your destination,” meaning that whatever you imagine, whatever you believe and whatever you think in your mind will then create where you are going.
So, as a young mum, if you’re feeling isolated and you’re continuously telling yourself “I feel lonely,” “I don’t have any friends,” you will stay like that. You won’t shift anywhere.
Right now, I can tell you guys, I don’t really have any friends.
I think I have one friend and she recently had a baby so there’s no time for us to chit-chat on the phone anymore or laugh and giggle and stuff because now she’s busy.
So literally, it’s just me. I take my son to nursery, and that is just me.
But what I’ve said to myself is, “No Jayde, in 5 years’ time, this is where you wanna go.”
For you guys, it might sound absolutely crazy, but I said to a young lady yesterday that if you wanna have 10 mansions on the same road that you own, you can do that. And it’s not about “Oh, it’s not possible.” It’s about telling your mind, “No, this is where I want to go, this is where I want to go.” And your mind will begin to move in that way.
For example, if you’re driving a car, your driving instructor will always tell you to look straight.
Don’t look at the person that’s moving or if you’re going through a small gap don’t look at the sides of that gap. Just look straight ahead – look where you want to go.
So if you’re in this position now and you’re sitting at home and you feel isolated, don’t think about how many friends you should have, or don’t think about how many of your friends are going to that party. Think about where you want to go or the shoes that you want, or the car that you want.
And don’t limit yourself to the cheapest car or the car that you think you can afford. Think about the car that you cannot afford but you want. And your mind will just go in that direction.
More advice from other young mums like Jayde
Harriet gave birth to her daughter at 17 and now has a degree (plus a lot of lessons learned). Here’s her advice on achieving your dreams and staying true to yourself. Read what Harriet says in the video here if you can’t watch it…
Read more advice on the blogs from young mums below…
- What I wish I’d known before I became a parent, by Rebecca
- How to choose beds, buggies and rockers, by Loren and Richelle
- 18 things I wish I’d known about pregnancy and giving birth, by Ellie