How to tell strict parents you're pregnant: young mums' advice
Little Lullaby

How to tell strict parents you’re pregnant: young mums’ advice

Little Lullaby
Little Lullaby

xxSarahJanex wants to know: “A month ago I found out I’m pregnant. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we are really nervous to tell our parents. My parents are REALLY strict and have always told me if I get pregnant then I would have to leave and never come back. His parents aren’t as strict but still are scary.

“Any suggestions on what to do? I’m already showing and can’t hide morning sickness for much longer.”

Our young mum blogger Stephanie says…

Stephanie quote: telling parents you're pregnant

“With me I was crapping bricks but I got my family to meet my partner first a few times then sat them down to tell the news with Olivia I got my partner to do it… with Josh (my first) I was about 4 months pregnant when I told them and with Olivia I was about 3 1/2. ? Too much pressure, I swear having to answer to our parents is the worst bit about becoming pregnant.

“I would say just be honest and calm and let them know firmly but not rudely what your decision is and how you will go about providing for your baby if that’s your choice and all you really want from them is their support and love. Tell them your goals an aspirations and how you want them to be a part of it.”

Ellie, mum of one, suggests…

Ellie quote: telling parents you're pregnant

“Make sure you’re all in a quiet place with no distractions. This will make sure everyone will be listening and it will also make you feel more relaxed x”

Read why Ellie loves being a young mum, or why breastfeeding wasn’t as easy as she expected.

Richelle, 17, mum of one, shares how her family responded when she broke the news that she was pregnant:

Richelle quote: telling parents you're pregnant

“This topic is something that most young mothers that are yet to tell their parents are frightened of – and trust me, this was something that I was definitely frightened of!

“After my mum heard the news, she stopped talking to me for about four or five months.

“Not everyone is going to have such a difficult time, though. Families react in different ways and some mums and dads will be a lot more accepting and supportive than others.”

Read Richelle’s full story of her family’s reaction to her pregnancy.

More suggestions from our Community:

The young parents hanging out in our Community have some advice for Sarah below. Get support from young mums and dads like Sarah did by joining and chatting today.

From Aimeeday:

“Hey… I don’t talk to my dad so never had to tell him but my mum always said the same thing to me about me having to leave the house and everything. When i told my mum she was like ‘Well I cant say that I’m not shocked.’ Wasn’t funny at the time though lol!

“I was the same as you, been with my bf for four years and three months when I told my mum so she had already started clicking because I kept being sick and was starting to show a little. Maybe your mum and dad would be the same as mine and they already know, just waiting for you to tell them.

“If you find it really hard to tell them I wrote mine down in a note to my mum because I couldn’t say the words. If they do kick you out could you go and stay with your boyfriend? Or put your name down on the council list? Good luck xx”

(If you’re going through a similar situation or need help, try contacting the Family Nurse Partnership for advice. If your family has reacted badly and you’re in need of emergency housing, Shelter’s advice site has lots of further info.)

From Psychosaur_x:

“My mum said the same thing to me. Me and my son’s dad went and told her together and even though she wasn’t ok with it for a few weeks, it finally settled in and she was quite excited. Now she dotes on Kai hand and foot. I’m sure it’l all work out, good luck! x”

From Suzie:

“I wouldn’t worry. Once you’ve told them I am sure they will be supportive. Maybe get yours and his family together and tell them that way. Good luck xx”

From Porkchop:

“I was so scared to tell my mum and dad so I sent them a text. They cried for 4 days, but now they are great, they have been so supportive . Good luck. x”

From xjemmadaleyx:

“I was scared to tell my mum, but when I done it I felt like I had lifted a burden off my shoulders. And you now what, she might be really happy — mine was.”

Get support from other young mums and dads in our Community

Speak to other young mums and dads about any aspect of young parenthood just like Sarah did, by joining our Community and asking a question in a group.

The questions and answers on this page were originally posted on Bubbalicious.co.uk in February 2011, before Bubbalicious was rebranded to Little Lullaby in April 2016.