Being from a single parent family, I see and know the impact it has on the mum and the kids. Being a single mum isn’t a taboo — it happens, but if you can stop it then by all means do so.
I do believe that in this generation we are so quick to give up on fathers an have the ‘I can do it alone’ mentality.
I’ve been there…
I was pregnant with my son when me and my partner broke up. I was determined to ‘do it on my own’: it hurt like crazy but I knew where my head was at, how strong minded I was, and how I was not going to let him be a part of this family.
I was hormonal, my head wasn’t in the right place and I didn’t understand how much having him apart of this family unit really meant.
The father of my children isn’t perfect — nor am I. But you know what? I see him trying.
I see him sealing our family unit, I see him being the spare leg for my chair when one of mine has snapped, I see him being the role model that our kids need and I see him doing the best he can.
We as ladies are so strong minded and so want to be superwoman and it’s great that we can be and all of that, but why do it all when we don’t have too? If supermum can have a break now and then, you can too – don’t cut your nose off to spite your face.
Fathers are the more expendable when it comes to parenting but none of us are perfect – more times we tell them to go because they have somehow managed to hurt our ego but when it comes to our kids, our ego is the last thing we need to take into consideration.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying to stay with a man that’s abusive.
Someone like that is in no way going to help your family. I’m saying if there is room for improvement, then improve on it together.
Me and my partner had a talk after our son was born. It wasn’t a nice one, in the sense that it brought up old memories that I had buried deep in the back of my mind, but it had to be done.
To be honest our heads were in the right place: we decided to forget about ‘us’ right now and just be the best mum and dad we could possibly be to our son. We haven’t looked a day back since.
It’s not been smooth sailing…
But rather than facing parenthood alone, we went into it as a team.
We shared the hardship, love, tears, stress etc… dads are needed just as much as mums. They deserve to be given a chance just like us, they deserve to see their child/children grow up just like us, they shouldn’t be less valid than us.
We are young parents and a lot of us come from single unit families, so let us be the change that this generation needs. Let us be the family role models for the next generation.